A Letter to Buddy

Originally published mid March of 2009 in the Upper Cumberland NOW.

Sorry About This….

I tend to be rather…um…single minded. In other words, when I get something on my mind, I tend to think of only that, until the situation is resolved, the event has passed, or something else comes along. I get this trait from my father. Daddy seems to become obsessed with things at least until he moves on to something else. Over the years, he’s been obsessed by ham radios, boy scouts, boats and water skiing, horses, and now traditional Appalachian music. Over the years I’ve become obsessed by the guitar, English smocking, physical fitness, horses, traditional Appalachian music, and now my grandson, Brayden, a.k.a. Buddy.
I say all of that to say this…you won’t be hearing any words of wisdom (that was sarcasm) from me this issue. You won’t be hearing about my dog. You won’t be hearing about the injustices in our justice system or politics. All I can seem to think about these days is Buddy, and my daughter and son-in-law. I go about the motions of working, but all the while lurking just under the surface is Buddy.
It’s always been “family first” with me, and for that I won’t apologize. I do apologize for this article being about said family again. I know you, the reader, may be tired of hearing about it. When I get something on my mind, I can’t let it go, and out comes the article…. Here’s what’s on my mind:

A Letter to Buddy

Dear Buddy,
Today you are 3 weeks old, even though you weren’t really supposed to be here for another 3 ½ weeks. I’m so proud of the way you are trying to grow and trying to be well. I know you probably don’t feel very good with all that’s going on.
Just some things you need to know: You know that pretty lady and good-looking man that keep smiling at you and holding you close? That’s your Mommy and Daddy, although you probably already know that. They’re the ones that are there with you all the time while you are still in the hospital. They’ll be the ones that will be with you the entire time even when you go home. See, Buddy, there’s a whole other world outside the hospital that you don’t know about yet. When you get well enough in a few more weeks, you’ll get to go home, to a place where there will only be you and your Mommy and Daddy. It’s a great place, and you are really going to like your room. Your Mommy and Daddy have been waiting for you for a long time, and they got your room all ready for you while they were waiting. Your room is a very happy place with lots of stuff to look at. It’s painted as if you were outside, with green grass and bright blue sky that filled with big, puffy, white clouds. And when you sleep at night, there will be stars glowing in the dark over your crib.
You’ve had it pretty rough so far, Buddy, but I just want you to know that it’s going to get better. So far, you’ve had 2 surgeries, and you’ve got a couple more to go, but they’ll be over before you know it. You’re going to get bigger and stronger, and then when you get big enough, you will get a new kidney. And then, Buddy, you’ll be just fine!
We’ve got so much to look forward to! Your Mommy and Daddy have got big plans for you. So do Pa and I; Grandma and Papa Goose; Pap and Nana; and Aunt Boo Boo and Uncle Jason.
See, Buddy, I’m your Grandma, but you can call me Gran. If you can’t say Gran, why then we’ll just go with whatever you CAN say. Your Mommy was once a little bitty baby like you, and she was my baby. That was a long time ago. I’m married to your Pa, and we live just up the road from where you are going to live. Pa’s got all sorts of fun things that he wants to do with you. You’ll be able to go out with Pa and feed the horses at the barn. Pa’s even got a tractor that’s just like his except it’s little like you. It’s just your size! Your tractor has pedals, and you’ll be able to make the engine sounds as you go along. I need you to help me with the garden. It’s a really big garden, Buddy, and Gran can’t do it without your help. I’m going to get you a garden hoe, a rake, and a wheelbarrow that are just your size so you can help me pull the weeds, pick the beans, and other stuff like that. I'll need your help with all kinds of things. When you don’t want to work anymore, then you can play with Daisy. Daisy is my dog, but she can be yours, too. When you get a little older, you and Daisy can run together. I’ve got a porch on my house that goes all the way around. You’ll be able to ride your tricycle all the way around, and have races with Daisy.
I’ve got some songs that I want to teach you, too. If you want, I’ll teach you to play the guitar and the hammered dulcimer.
Your Aunt Boo Boo wants to teach you how to ride horses. That will be fun!
Your Papa Goose wants to get you on the back of his Harley. You’re already wearing the Harley hat that he got you. Your Grandma has got all sorts of things that she wants to do with you, too. All of us can hardly wait until you get home and get a little bigger! We’ve got fish to catch, balls to throw, and some serious wrestling to do!
Buddy, your Mommy and Daddy love you so very much. They loved you even when you just as big a peanut, and you lived inside your Mommy’s belly. They have waited a long, long time for you to get here, and now they have to wait even longer before they can bring you home.
There’s a big world outside the NICU that is just waiting for you to explore. There’s a big ball of fire up in the sky. It’s called the sun, and it will warm your skin even when the days are chilly. There’s a thing called rain, where water falls out of the sky and makes puddles to splash in. Sometimes, when it’s cold, that rain comes out of the sky in the form of snow. Snow is white, fluffy, and cold. It’s a lot of fun to play in. Sometimes, the wind blows. Wind is invisible, but you will feel it blowing across your face.
I wasn’t prepared for this, Buddy! Everybody told me that it was truly a special thing, this feeling that grandparents have for their grandchildren. But nobody can really prepare you for this kind of feeling. I wasn’t prepared for what I felt when you were 5 days old and I got to hold you for the very first time. My heart just swelled up and bubbled over, Buddy. I love you so much. I can’t wait for your first visit to Gran’s and Pa’s.
I guess I just want you to know we’re here, Buddy. We’re here for whatever you need. We’re waiting for you to go home from the hospital to your home, and then come visit ours.
I love you,
Gran